As the old saying goes, “Once burned, twice shy”. The same is true for those who have been in abusive relationships. The smallest spark can send you running because there is a reminder of a painful past. There is always an underlying fear that the abuse will be repeated and some other narcissistic psycho is just around the next corner. You would rather not fall in love again than risk reliving the torment.
The problem is, you are making each new person that enters your life pay for something they had no part in during the past. This is an injustice. Though you may not realize it, this is because you have forgotten your worth. You may feel unable to make a sound decision or care for yourself because of the abuse, but this is inaccurate. You are capable, just scared. You must learn to move forward without the weight of the abuse.
Missing out on a great man because the past still has its hooks in your heart and soul is sad and unnecessary. You could be missing out on the perfect guy because the last one was so emotionally draining. An abusive relationship leaves you tire, broken, and guarded. Even when people worthy of your attention come along, it can be hard to let the walls down. This is a lonely and miserable experience.
Life is meant to be shared. We are created to be companions to one another. The best thing you can do to someone who has hurt you is to let them see you happy and living life without them. You cannot allow anything to break you in this life. You can become more of a winner by finding the perfect guy that will treat you right.
To break out of the self-created cage, you must learn to embrace yourself, flaws, broken pieces, and all. Know that you have learned powerful lessons along the road, but you are a survivor that is now willing to fight. You may have never imagined you would be the type to end up in an abusive relationship, but it happened and you were caught off guard. While it is never okay to be abused, it happens to thousands of women daily. The worst part is, after getting out of the situation, the struggles continue because you are now feeling like a victim.
The good news is, you can choose to stop being a victim and break free. You just have to be cautious about who your heart is given to again. Abuse does terrible things, but it does make us wiser. Not all men are abusers. In fact, there are some that will love you so much you forget that you were abused. Be willing to take the risk and let love bring you back to life once again.