Finding Security and Safety in Your Emotions

Finding Security and Safety in Your Emotions

When you think about what a healthy relationship is, you have the idea that you want to have security and you want to feel loved and accepted. You will have desires that you want to be met and you will feel that your emotions are strong.

Do you ever sit down and talk to your partner and let them know what you are feeling?  If you do, do you feel that they will respond like this?

  • Dismissing your feelings.
  • Thinking you are being overly emotional or ridiculous.
  • Treating you like you are an alien.
  • Deciding now to be with you anymore?

If you have these feelings, then chances are that you feel that your partner is disrespectful of you and you worry that they will not accept you for what you feel.

The way that you feel often stems from things in your past such as how you were raised as a child and the times that you have been in relationships that have ended with heartbreak. No matter what you are feeling or believing, your actions will show how aware you are of what you feel.

Look at your relationship and see if your negative thinking can be changed.

Emotional Strength

We have needs that we need to have met such as food, water and shelter, but we also have other needs. We have social relationships that need to meet our needs and help us not to be insecure. People have a fear of being alone and they have a fear of being with someone that will make them feel alone or rejected. People that live in different places search to find someone that will help to make them feel secure and help them to feel safe in each of their relationships.

All of these feelings can be fixed, and you have to learn to be aware and learn to control your thoughts and feelings. One hard thing to change is the idea of feeling safe in your relationship.

You must know that when you feel safe in a relationship, there is unconditional love and understanding and this means that you will feel safe and secure and accepted and you will not have to worry about being put down for what you feel or believe. A woman will trade her financial security for emotional security and sometimes her experiences will change how she feels about her partner.


A woman that feels safe with a man will be trustworthy and strong. They will admire the man in their life, and this will cause him to feel loved and her to feel accepted. He will show her that he loves her and accepts her, and she will be strong in her mind and emotions.

The strengths that the woman has helps her to feel strong and safe in her physical body and emotions. This does not make a man weak but will help him to see that he is loved as well which will make his ego feel strong and not attacked. She will trust him to be able to say what she wants to say.

This kind of man will be strong in his emotions and he will be honest and loving. He will show her that he wants his woman to be comfortable and make her know that she is loved.

When She Feels Safe

A woman that feels safe will be in a good relationship. When the man works to make her feel good and helps her around the house, she will see that he is committed to her. She will invest her time in him, and he will know that she is willing to match his kindness.

There will not be any fear in her and she will share her emotions with her man and feel safe from pain or being broken. She will not worry bout being alone or in pain. When a woman is with someone that is distant to her or that is not being physically close with her, she will breakup with him because she will feel lonely.

Fear and Insecurity

If you do not want her to be afraid of being alone, be close to her. She will try her best to be close to her and when he leaves her, she might be hurt that he is spending too much time with others instead of her and this will leave her criticizing him and will be hard for the future.

This is a sad way for her to get noticed by her man, but these feelings will make her upset and will cause her to have to deal with her emotions negatively.


When a woman is angry and jealous, she wants to control her man because of her emotions. He will influence her emotions and he will start avoiding her. They will spend time together and will keep the relationship strong as long as he does not make her feel alone.

A woman will see that she can change her mans behavior and will see him as someone that loves her and makes her happy. He will stop being his true self and will start doing what she wants out of him. Sometimes, she will see that he is no longer hers and she will no longer feel safe because he is weak, and his characters are no longer strong.

When she controls him, she will lose trust in him and she will no longer feel safe.

One thing that happens is the weaker person in the relationship is controlled by the stronger person. If the woman is weak, she will lose trust of her man when she becomes the strong one and she will not feel safe with him.

If a woman is wanting to be close to her man, she will feel safe and she will see that her emotional reactions are strong because they have built a good foundation.


The woman will want to be with a partner that is close to her and wants to have fun with her and spend time with her. He will want someone that is honest and protecting.

A woman will want to have her emotions to be strong and to be loved no matter what she is feeling.

When this feels impossible, the man will make her feel weak and then it will cause them not to be close to each other. If she can keep the man close to her then she will not lose respect for herself.

Limiting Your Fear to Have a Good Relationship

We all limit our options sometimes and when we want to be happy in our relationships, we have to get rid of false beliefs that have caused us to be afraid. We have to choose to be safe.

Having a healthy relationship means that both people are committed to growing and to getting rid of problems in the relationship. This means that you are able to learn to share your feelings and talk without judging each other.

You must put your fear away and allow yourself to be vulnerable. Practice trusting each other and learn to get rid of any burdens that are holding you back or making your emotions strong.

Love in Relationships

Being afraid can cause you to have different beliefs about what love is. This means that you can have feelings of not being good enough, low self-esteem, rejection and more. These emotions are painful, but many use them to protect themselves.

When we only focus on being rejected, we forget how to behave, and we often go to partners that want to control us because we are fearful of good relationship.

Men and Women

There are many reasons why a man will choose a woman. He will be motivated to be with someone that he desires, and he will want her to be happy and he will be loving and kind and honest.

When a man is uncomfortable with his partner though, he will feel guilty and feel that they are in the relationship for different reasons.

Judgement and Criticism

Men need to feel stable in the relationship too and they need to feel accepted. They are sensitive, more than most women know and when their partner talks harshly to them, it can be painful.

Smiling at each other and supporting each other can cause your man to love you and share with you. He will struggle when you are angry and if you are not being compassionate, he will possibly want to leave you or not trust you. Your bad feelings can turn him off.

A man wants his woman to be protected and if he upsets her, he wants to help to make it better. He doesn’t want her to be isolated and he wants to make a safe place for her in her physical being and her emotions.

A man causes his woman to be unsafe is one that is not responsible and has a negative belief system which will cause problems in the relationship. This can be because of past situations and can cause there to be hurt in the relationship.

If you learn to trust each other and you have a fight, you will be able to get over it easily and you will trust your partner in all ways.


Integrity is important and most men have this. Some men do not but often a man will be emotional, and he will be this way because he had a good mom that took care of him. His emotionally integrity is something that women want to be a part of, and they want to have a deep connection.

A woman can choose to wait and see if her partner is going to be truthful, but she will want to be with him if he shows unconditional love to her and takes away her fear and hear thoughts of rejection.

Where Are You Going?

A woman will want to know where the relationship is going, and she will want to know if you are on the same path. She will want to be with someone that is committed to her and she will never be happy if she feels trapped.

She will look for safety in her life and she will deny anything from her past relationships that cause her to have pain or cause her to avoid judgments or criticisms.

You will become aware of what each other feels and their emotions and this will help you to have a stronger sense of self. In order to be in charge of your relationship, you have to change your thoughts, beliefs and your emotions and learn to love who you are.

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