Some people have had to deal with criticism in their lives including dealing with parents that were extreme in their cultures. Even though their parents intended well, sometimes they demanded their child to be obedient and this could cause them to be harder on them. These parents were developing their emotional core strength and trying to get them ready for the world ahead of them.
Even though this seemed hard to them, it caused some people to have a strong protection around their heart which proved to be a benefit for them. It also showed them that they couldn’t be weak and that they needed to have this so that they could survive.
People are always saying, “don’t be overly sensitive,” and they learn that they have to be thick skinned so that everything doesn’t hurt their feelings. There are many times in life that it would be better if people were tougher.
There is always going to be someone that doesn’t like you and this happens as early as pre-school. Maybe this was painful for you and so you would write down all of the reasons that people don’t like you. Inside, you wish that you were good enough to be loved by them which can lead you to feel that you are desperate for love.
These are the kinds of people that will do whatever it takes to not be embarrassed and to not have someone confront them. They dress like the other people around them and they do whatever it takes to bring pleasure to the adults and children around them. This is something that can be hard to live through and it is important that people learn to be tougher instead of trying to validate everything everyone else wants.
Having Thick Skin
When someone is thick skinned it doesn’t mean that they can be emotionally unavailable, but it means that they have to be strong and not weak when it comes to their emotions. Being thick skinned can mean that you don’t have the mental strength that is needed to deal with hurt and pain.
Experiencing hard things such as fear, and insecurities can trigger things in your life that cause you to be emotionally dependent on others. When you are emotionally dependent on others, it can cause you to allow others to tell you what you should do and how you should act.
Having thicker skin can help you to have a stronger mental health. You can see that you are strong and that you can be independent. Here are some ways to be stronger:
Who You Are
Remember that there is nothing that is about you unless it is about you. This means that when you are thick skinned, you know who you are. You know that whatever others say is just a reflection of them and not about you.
When you behave a certain way, you have to take ownership of this but what others say about you is about them and not you. Don’t let the things people say affect your emotions or make you feel bad about who you are.
Stop Compromising Values
You have to keep your values strong. Don’t allow others to take these things away from you. Deal with trauma that you are facing and let it go.
People that are strong are able to bounce back when something happens. When you are thick skinned you will see that you can be strong and you can stand up for yourself. You still need to make sure that you are loving others and showing compassion but also be protective of yourself.
Make sure that you aren’t internalizing the behaviors of others. You need to know that there are some people that will say just about anything. They don’t want you to be strong or to be healthy and so they say things that they shouldn’t.
Truth and Triggers
Know the difference between the truth and things that are triggering you. The triggers that come to you aren’t necessarily the truth.
Don’t Let Fear Stop You
Never let fear stop you from doing something you want to do. Don’t be ashamed of what you love or try to be someone else. Be yourself and be creative. Have the courage to be just who you are.
Get a Mentor
Find someone that you can look up to that will show you how to be strong and how to have integrity. Find people that have good character and those that will take actions and not just speak words. Be productive in your life and allow yourself to live as who you are while you allow this for others as well.
Live your life on your own terms and allow yourself to be emotionally available to those around you. Don’t worry about what other people say about you or to you and behave in an upright and strong way. When someone says something to you that you don’t understand, ask them what this means.
Be thick skinned and allow yourself to understand the behaviors of others and then let them go. Don’t stop living your best life because you are listening to nonsense.