Relationships are one of those things in life that you must learn about as you go. While we can share with friends and even the internet, each relationship is something we learn from over time. IF you have been in a couple of relationships already, it is likely you already know some of your deal breakers that you cannot tolerate in a relationship. Deal breakers are factors to take into consideration when you are deciding whether to work things out in a relationship or walk away completely. Having deal breakers is healthy and part of boundary setting. Some lines cannot be crossed, even by those we are closest to in life. There are some attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors that you should never accept from anyone. While each relationship is unique, below are core deal breakers that should stop immediately or end a relationship.
Abuse takes on many forms, emotional, physical, and even verbal. No form of abuse should be tolerated even if your partner continually apologizes and acts remorseful. Many people, predominantly women, convince themselves abuse occurs, but will only happen once and never again. This is inaccurate and abuse should be the top deal breaker in all relationships. Once abuse begins, it will never stop.
Though some people will try to work through infidelity, once a cheater always a cheater. When someone chooses to step outside a marriage or relationship, it is because they have no respect for your value. Put your foot down on this issue whether you have been together a few months or many years. If it happens again, do not forgive and wait around to experience the heartbreak all over. A partner who cheats puts you at risk as well. Their cheating can cause depression, embarrassment, and sexually transmitted diseases.
If your partner tends to cancel plans at the last minute even though the plans were made in advance. Then it may be a red flag, especially if this occurs often. If your partner truly cares, they should be making an effort to make you feel like a priority.
While a little jealousy is healthy, too much can be toxic to a relationship. Controlling, demanding, and overly aggressive jealousy should be a deal breaker. This extreme jealousy is a sign of insecurity that can lead to abusive behavior. Get out before it gets too bad.
If you are the one that always has to make plans, calls first, or initiates texts it may seem like you are the only one in the relationship. This can be a deal breaker because healthy relationships mean both partners put in time and effort. Without this balance you will feel frustrated in the end.
You are the Secret
Privacy in a relationship is wonderful, but secrecy can mean something is off. If you have been dating for over a year and have never met a single family member or friend, then you are likely a secret. This is a red flag that could mean you are only a side piece and need to get out.