Words do not break bones and they cannot hurt you physically, but they can break your heart and hurt your spirit and they can affect you for a lifetime.
Someone that is always saying hurtful words to you can hurt you more than you even realize. Even when you argue with your spouse or your partner, you have to be careful what you say to each other. We all say things we do not mean and when we forget about the fight we are having; we never really get over the words that were said to us and the toxic phrases that were used when we fought. These things can stick with you longer than you will even admit.
Here are some things that you need to leave out of your fights:
Getting a Divorce
You need to make sure that you do not tell your partner that you are only in the marriage for the children or that you are only staying for a while until you get on your feet.
Chances are that your partner will remember that you said you wanted a divorce for years and maybe even for their whole life. These words and threatening statements can stay with you and even when you are arguing, you need to keep divorce out of it.
If you have unresolved conflicts in your marriage, you need to bring them to the table and allow them to be resolved.
Learn to compromise and fix things instead of letting words get in the way. Try to tell your partner how you are feeling such as, “you hurt my feelings” or “you make me angry when” instead of threatening with divorce.
I Hate You
Another thing that people sometimes say when they argue is, “I hate you,” and what your spouse is hearing is, “I don’t love you anymore.” This can hurt your partner deeply and even when the fight is over, these words can stay with them.
Once you apologize for doing these things, stop doing them and be kind.
When you and your partner do not see things the same, you sometimes think they are being irrational. If they do something that you don’t understand or they don’t listen when you have a good plan, it can turn into an argument.
Make sure that you do not bring values into the argument and that you learn to look at each other’s viewpoint instead of putting each other down.
A Man or Woman Would Say that
Just because you are male, or female doesn’t mean you need to announce it. If something is said that you don’t like, do not blame it on the gender or take it out on each other.
Learn to have empathy towards each other and to solve problems you have in your life.
Don’t Talk About It
One thing that can cause hurt is when you refuse to talk about something that your partner finds important. This can cause your partner to be bitter and hurt.
Bad feelings can stay inside of you for years and years and when you allow the thoughts to stay without talking about them, it causes things to be worse.
You’re Like Your Mom or Dad
Do not tell your partner that they are like their parents to start a fight. Do not hint to them or try to insult them, especially in the sake of their family.
Stop Nagging Me
When you get into an argument you sometimes feel that you are being attacked. This can leave things unresolved for a long time.
Instead learn to apologize and to find out what they are thinking.
Do not tell your upset partner to relax. They are already upset, and they want you to care about what they are feeling. Learn to empathize with them and to help them.
These phrases can cause a lot of problems in your relationship and you have to learn to apologize and work through problems. You can use words that create a positive atmosphere, and you can hug or kiss and affirm each other so that you can have a friendship and a strong relationship. This kind of thing will lead to intimacy instead of negative reactions.