Does it seem like everyone around you is in a relationship? Have you been wondering when it will be your turn for love? Dating and love is not easy. The dating pool may seem small or lacking in quality candidates. When you do match with a great person online, sometimes the chemistry isn’t there or can fizzle out quickly. So, what’s happening that is preventing you from finding love?
Begin by looking at yourself. You may have behaviors or expectations that are limiting your ability to find lasting love.
Explore the following seven common ways that people subconsciously sabotage their chance at romance:
- Unrealistic Expectations: Look at your last few failed dates. Did you feel early on that you were “too good” for them? Instead of expecting a suitor to place you on a pedal, focus on getting to know them. By becoming friends first, you lessen the pressure of trying to fit someone in the box of perfection. Observe how they interact with you. Do they listen? Are they respectful? Do you enjoy spending time with them? Could you see them being around your friends? If you can empathetically answer “yes,” look beyond any superficial flaws or lacks. Looks, money and status can fade, but personality lasts.
- You Expect Love to Find You: To best understand what you are looking for in love, you need to wade into the dating pool. People who expect love to find them often have issues with shyness and self-confidence. Realize your value and prioritize meeting new people over other activities.
- Resentment: Perhaps your last break-up was extraordinarily difficult. Maybe you feel like you have been rejected by dates one too many times. In other cases, your inner anger is about something unrelated to love, but still affects how you view it. Regardless, toxic emotions only hurt you and will prevent you from being viewed as a desirable partner. Seek professional aid to work through your feelings and trust issues before revising your online dating profiles.
- Grass Isn’t always Greener: Explore why you think a better option is out there. What prevents you from experiencing satisfaction with your dates? Do you feel you are truly not worth of finding meaningful love? If so, focus on all the positives in your life and live in the moment. No one is perfect, but you can find enjoyment in the quirks that makes someone unique.
- Night Stand: You can’t expect to find love without an emotional connection. To switch from Lust to Love, tap into your inner voice. Understand what is blocking you from feeling your emotions and what you must do to shift your mindset to be open to giving and receiving affection.
- Stop Being Clingy: No one should ever feel like they have to prove themselves. If you can’t show your potential partner your ability to be your own person, they will probably leave. Take a night off from dating and give them a chance to miss you a bit.
- Value Substance over Status: You will be falling in love with a person and not a paycheck. Instead of focusing on someone’s wealth potential prioritize their abilities to communicate, love, show trust and prioritize spending quality time with you.
Dating much like life offers more off ramps than on ramps. So, once you decide to end a chapter, it can be twice as hard to start the next one. Moreover, if you are in a negative headspace, you will radiate that negativity outward. No one wants to get into a long-term relationship with a Debby Downer. Dating should be fun and always you both to explore and grow. Make a commitment to focus on the good in and around you. By doing so, you will better understand what traits and life goals you are seeking in a potential partner. When you know your priorities and your value, you will find more enjoyment and success in love.
