The end of any relationship is painful, but you can also learn valuable lessons. These lessons help you understand what is important in your life and what you are seeking in your next partner and what steps are necessary for you to move forward. Read on to discover seven key ways the heartbreak helps you grow as a person.
- It Isn’t Solely About You
When someone chooses to end a relationship is can be intensely painful. To suddenly go back to a “me” focus, after living in a “we” mindset can feel like a part of you is missing. However, another person’s choice to not be romantically involved with you doesn’t mean you were to blame. Sometimes the problem was centered around an issue with them or their life! Some people aren’t well versed in the language of love or they may have baggage that prevents them from fully being vulnerable with someone.
It is up to you to be receptive to warning signs they are putting out during various phases of your relationship. If they mention a pattern of hesitation to commitment, or being hurt repeatedly by past love, it’s likely they may have commitment issues. Have open and honest dialogues with them to avoid feeling blindsided by a break-up when emotions become intense.
- Sometimes Love is Just for a Season
Not every love is meant to end with ‘happily ever after.’ People can enter your life, and exit them, at a variety of different timeframes. Yet, each encounter serves to teach us valuable lessons and help us along our path of self-growth.
Your romance may be ending, but your warm memories don’t have to. Try to shift your mind from the pain of this ending to gratitude for their impact on your life. This mindset can better prepare you to be ready for when a new love is preparing to enter your life.
- Look for the Lessons
Sometimes love can be a training ground for an even more powerful romance. Relationships help to teach us about ourselves, our values and how we relate to others in our life. There is trial and error, but that too can be a blessing as it helps us refine what is important or what we seek in our life and love.
- It is Better to Live with an Open Heart than Closed One
You might be tempted to shut yourself off from the world when you are grieving the end of a relationship. Don’t! Some relationships help you understand you were better suited as friends or your need something else in a partner. By keeping an open heart, you are able to learn more about why this past relationship was not a good fit for you. You may be able to better recognize signs of flirtation from that cute person in the coffeeshop, or be open to a person outside your typical “type.” Perhaps, in time you can heal enough to have honest dialogue with your ex to learn more about what could do to be more successful in love.
- Sometimes Your “Love” was an Illusion
Love can be confusing, especially with all the rush of chemicals in your brain. Depending on your earlier experience with love and relationship history, you might be confusing love with infatuation, friendship, companionship, or lust. If you were hurt in your youth, you might bond quickly to the first person showing your sincere interest and kindness. If you recently lost weight, you might develop passionate feelings for the first person who viewed you as attractive. Take time after the break-up to understand what brought you both together and why you stayed together. Was it healthy, or codependent? What do you hope could be different in your next romance?
- Break-ups allow for a Romantic Reset
You may have gotten yourself overly comfortable and into a relationship rut. Yes, it might hurt now to grieve the ending of the relationship, but with space and time you can identify the warning signs it wasn’t a good match. Depending on your psyche you either couldn’t see them or chose to ignore them. This period of reflection can help you hone your love intuition and allow yourself to rebuild trust with your Inner Voice.
- A Renewed Focus on You
You may have lost touch with what matters to you during your time in your relationship. Love can be exciting and passionate that we focus so much on our love that we ignore our personal needs. During the respite allow yourself time to practice self-love and self-care to help you along your journey towards fulfillment. When you can learn to be your own best friend, you are able to be a healthier romantic partner. This heartache will ultimately, allow you to become a stronger version of you as well as teach you more about who is best suited to be your life partner.