We have all dated people that have a hard time committing and we often wonder how we can get them to commit to us without causing them to want to leave or over pressuring them.
You have a man in your life that cannot make decisions and you have come to the point where you are tired of playing games.
You want to know if you have a future with this person and you are willing to devote to the relationship, but you don’t want to force his hand or for him to think that you are desperate. You just want to know if he is ready for this relationship or not.
Maybe you find yourself wondering how you can get him to commit to you without being too hard on him and without pressuring him.
You aren’t the only one that has went through this and many women and even men feel the same way. If you are trying to get him to commit to you, here are some ways that can make that work.
Stop Chasing Him
If you are someone that is always chasing, this is just an instinct that many women have. If he chooses to not commit to you, let him go. You give yourself the power when you stop losing who you are and stop trying to win the game.
When you chase after this guy and he is always running in opposite directions, you are innocently chasing him away. Maybe you are one of the people that show up when they don’t text you back or you are the one that is always sending the first texts.
You can start feeling like a stalker because you are unsure about the relationship and you are adding pressure that you don’t even realize you are doing. He might the guys that feel that he will be tied down and so this makes him run away.
This is a normal behavior but if you keep chasing him, he will try to get away and he will end the relationship.
Reverse Psychology
If you want to make him stop running, don’t go faster towards him but stop chasing after him. This doesn’t mean you should ignore him or do a no contact rule with him, it just means that you need to back off a little and start using reverse psychology to help you.
Chances are after you let up some, he will see that you aren’t chasing him, and he will know that he is going to lose you. This can help you to know if he likes you and wants to commit to you. If he doesn’t start chasing you back, chances are he isn’t the one for you.
Mysterious
Men and women are very different but also the same. Men are very curious and if you can find something that will cause him to think about you and wonder about you, this is a game that you will win every time.
Men are not afraid to get what they want and when you show them that you are a mystery, they will want to know more. When you first get with this guy or you go on your first dates, do not share everything about yourself.
If you tell them everything in one date, they will quickly lose interest in you. Stop being open about all the things you do and about all of your flaws. Let him be curious about you and try to figure out who you are.
Men love to figure women out and this helps them to not get bored with you. This is also a sure way to get his attention.
How Does Being Mysterious Help?
When you are mysterious, you make this guy work harder to get to know you. He doesn’t have to wonder about you, but he will spend time trying to figure you out. This will push him to want to know more about you and will therefore have him spending more time with you.
You will eventually end up in a long-term relationship and he will be putty in your hands. He will be wild to know more about you and the idea of getting to know you will keep his interest peeked.
Making Your Own World
Women all over the world make the mistake of thinking that they can shake their personality or change who they are to make a man like them. We have all been in this situation.
Women will stop the things that they love and change how they look and act just to be with a guy. These girls are people everywhere and they end up playing the role of a partner.
Stop putting your personality aside to try to fit better with your boyfriend. If you have time and he has time, he needs to make time in your world.
Even though you were never one that had to please people, you find that you are always doing whatever you can to please your man. This might mean that you stopped going out with your friends or finding your own hobbies and everything revolves around your man.
If football all of a sudden becomes the best thing that you do in your day, or if you only like foods he likes, you are losing who you are.
He Wants Someone Different
Your man doesn’t want to be with someone that is just like him, but someone that will complement him. He wants you to have your own identity and to be your own person.
Being with a guy and doing everything he says will make you always available. This can lead to you getting used and to you getting in a bad relationship.
You have to show him that you are equal with him and that you are living your own life as his partner but not as his twin.
Desperation
Men hate when women are desperate, and they can tell this a mile away. Women are made of different things and it is natural for them to want to have love. We all want to be with someone romantically.
There is a difference between looking for love and being desperate for love. When you become desperate and you cannot deal with anything but finding a boyfriend, this is a turnoff.
Wanting A Date Versus Wanting a Guy
You may be one that will do whatever it takes to be in a relationship. Maybe you hate being single and you want to settle down with someone and find love. No matter what it is, you probably don’t want a particular guy, just a relationship.
You will want whoever shows up at the right place and asks you out. You need to find out if you are just dating this guy to be with someone because you are desperate for love or if you really have feelings for him.
Maybe you think that you have real intentions to love him, but guys will see through this and if you are obsessed with being in a relationship, you don’t care about who the guy is.
If you want to make a guy commit to you, you have to know that you want him to be in your life but that you don’t need him.
No one has to be with someone to make them happy. You have to find happiness in your own life, or you will be a mess if he ever leaves you.
Be Respectful but Don’t Make Him a God
You need to be with a guy that you enjoy being with and that you respect but not one that you idolize. Some women will do this immediately and it often happens when you find someone that you really like.
You forgive him when he keeps messing up, laugh at all of his lame jokes and you even allow him to ignore you. When you appreciate him, this is something you should do but if you see him as a god, he will end up hurting you and using you.
He will get to the point where he feels that you can no longer replace him and then he will do what makes himself happy and forget about your own feelings. Do not put your guy above you.
Disrespect
On the other hand, you have to have respect for your man. He deserves to be treated well and to not be put down.
You also deserve respect. No man should ever put you down or cause you pain in your life. You have to show your boyfriend that you respect him, and you care about him even when you don’t agree with him.
You also don’t have to always listen to what he says. You are allowed to have your own opinion and to do what you want in your life. Some guys have small egos, and this causes them to feel inferior. Make sure you are always showing him respect in public and do not criticize him in front of others.
Look Your Best
Some people say looks don’t matter but we all know this isn’t true. The first thing that attracts someone to you is how you look.
Looks are not all that matter but if you want a guy to like you, make him look at you and get lost in you on the first date.
He will know nothing about you and so all that you have to use against him is your looks. Be the best that you can be and if you come in looking like a slob, he will go his own way.
Sometimes you have to remember to come out looking and smelling your best and make him crave your attention.
Even if you choose to dress down one day to see him this doesn’t mean you can go out without brushing your teeth and fixing your hair and smelling nice.
Men look at things and they see things that they like. Always try to be attractive and to look your best.
Dress the Best
You also need to take time to look at what you wear. Don’t wear high heels if he invites you hiking but also dress up when you go out on a date.
Don’t wear a sweatshirt, messy bun, and jogging pants right away because he wants you to look your best and to show him off.
The best thing to do is to find your favorite style and go with that. If he liked it at first, he would like it again.
No matter what you wear, do it with power. Make sure that you have good body language and that you are polite. Watch how you hold yourself, how you eat, talk and how you communicate what you are feeling.
Appreciating Your Absence
Being there for a guy anytime he wants you to be will not get you anywhere. He will start using you.
This happens because even though we appreciate someone, when you are constantly around them, they will feel that they can get what they want from you.
Why would a guy put effort into seeing you when you are always there? The truth is, he won’t. He wants you to be devoted to the relationship, but he also needs to work to see you and to be close to you. He has to be responsible in the relationship as well.
You are there to help him when he needs help, and you want to be his safety net but make sure that you have it going both ways.
Show him that you are there but that you aren’t there unconditionally. He has to do things in the relationship as well to help it to work. Once you are gone for a while and he sees how he misses you, this is a great thing.
Is He Hot or cold?
Do you think that this means you should play games with him to teach him that you aren’t always there for him? The answer is no. What you do, is you start being mature about things and you show your man that if he doesn’t do better that you will not be there.
Let him miss you and crave you. If he calls to see you, don’t always be available for him. Go out with him but if you make other plans, stick with them even if he isn’t in the middle of them.
Don’t let him treat you like you re second in his life. If he calls because his buddies changed plans on him, don’t be free that night.
Hurting You
One thing that some women believe is that people can hurt us when they want. The truth is you are the one that can control this. You determine how people are going to treat you.
This works in all of your relationships and you have to know that a guy cannot hurt you unless you let them.
If you want to make him commit to you, make him appreciate who you are. The best way you can do this is by not letting him treat you badly and making him respect you.
Make Him Admire You
When you stop giving into everything he wants, he will start to admire you more. This guy knows that you like him and no matter what, he will not lose his self-respect to be with you.
You have to be dignified in yourself and no matter how he treats you after that, you will still come out on top. When a man sees that you have boundaries and will not put up with his junk, he will want you in his life.
Chances
All people make mistakes, and your boyfriend will make mistakes too. This means that you can give him second chances, but you have to make sure that he has changed.
Not all second chances will work and if you cannot forgive him, this will never work out for you. Do not accept his behavior towards you if it is poor no matter what.
Stop Being Petty
People in high school are petty and their relationships are often up and down. These things never really work out though and once you get a certain age, you can no longer have the drama that is associated with middle school.
Getting mad over things that are small will not make you win a guy over. He will think you are petty, and he will not want to take the energy to fight with you.
If you want to make him want you, don’t be a drama queen.
Agree When You Don’t
One thing that you can do is to agree that you do not always have to see eye to eye in certain things. You can talk about things that your guy does but instead, learn to just let it go.
If you find the best way to talk to your man and you work things out, it will end up being a healthy relationship. Do not say mean words or do actions that will hurt each other later.
Always have boundaries in your relationship and do not let him cross them. Men want you to be serious about what you want, and they want to have attention of someone that is serious and someone that is strong.
It is okay if you argue here and there but, in the end, you have to learn to just agree to disagree and move on. You will never have the same ideas as someone else in all situations.
Do not yell at each other and end the fight with you storming away crying because you are grown, and you are mature.
Let Him Be Emotional
Men want to be with someone that they can show their real self with. They have a fragile ego and sometimes they are afraid to show their emotions.
Sometimes men feel that they are not allowed to have emotions and when this happens, he feels weak. If he cries around you, he likes you and he is willing to be emotionally open with you.
Men have a hard role in life because they have to be respected in society and this means that they sometimes have to feel tough. Sometimes men are told not to show emotions and so they deal with them in different ways.
Guys want to be with someone that they can be emotional with. Talk to him about your problems and let him talk to you. Listen to him and let him cry if he wants to. He is not less of a man because he has emotions.
You will become the girl for him if he opens up to you and he will know that he found the one.
Don’t Force It
You can be with a guy that has a shield up in his life and you cannot force him to show emotions. Do not confront him on this but just be patient and let the time come when he will share what he wants to share with you.
You have to show him that he can be safe with you and that you are there to help him pick up the pieces of his life.
Show him that you will always be there for him and what you say stays between you.
Don’t Get Too Attached
When you want to make a guy commit to you, you have to make sure that you are still independent. Getting too attached to someone can cause you to make him run.
He doesn’t want to have to deal with issues in his life and sometimes even if he loves you, he will never make the step to commit to you.
This happens because he thinks that you will let him be whatever he wants, and you will stay with him.
Being Needy
Do not be too needy. If you become too attached and you are always there, he will not like that. Give him time and always be independent.
Let him see that you can do things on your own and that you do not constantly need him in your life. Forget about your own thoughts and allow your relationship to work out without being overly needy.
Being afraid of losing him will only cause you to feel worse so you have to make sure that you are not being clingy.
Being clingy will chase him away and if you have a hard time with this, give him some space. Let him see that you can do things alone. If he comes back to you, then it will work out.
There is a difference between being needy and having needs. Everyone has needs when they get into a relationship and you need to make sure that your man is not neglecting you and that he is being good to you as his girlfriend.
Time
We all want things to happen on our time and being in a relationship is no different. Things will not change right away, and you cannot expect your man to commit to you immediately.
You have to take time to understand that loving someone is a process and if you want to be in a good relationship, do not rush things.
If you want him to tell others that he is with you, remember that everyone is different and not everyone is ready to move to labeling the relationship right away.
When he is ready to do this, he will do it. Do not try to manipulate him and don’t try to make him do what you want.
Don’t Wait Forever
Even though you need to be patient, this doesn’t mean that you should wait forever for him to make a decision.
Give him a time limit and if he doesn’t meet your time limit, find someone else.
Giving Him Credit for His Actions
Do not get into a relationship and then give your boyfriend credit for things he hasn’t done. Influence him so that he knows what you want in your life.
Being in a relationship is great but when you are with someone that isn’t ready to commit, it can change how you feel.
If you want him to change, do not always be giving him credit for what he hasn’t done. Make him put in an effort to do things for you.
The worse thing that you can do is to let him think that he has done something for you without him ever doing anything.
Show him that he has to earn your love and your respect, and he can’t do it by getting nothing.
Match Him
Another mistake that women make is to match their boyfriends seriousness with their seriousness.
This doesn’t mean that you should count how many times he texts you first and then text him back the same number of times but it does mean that you are not going to put up with putting all the effort into the relationship.
Don’t Change
Never change who you are to make someone commit to you. They should love you for who you are and find you worthy.
Acting like you are not as good as your man will cause you to lose your self-worth and will cause you to lose respect for yourself.
The most important thing that you need in life is confidence and you need to know that you are important.
Learn to be confident around guys and show them what you have to offer. Do not beg them to be with you and know that your life is not over if they don’t.
Believe in who you are and know that you were born with amazing skills and talents that he will miss out on if he is not with you.
If you want to make him want you, you have to be the best that you can be even without him. Learn to love yourself and to connect in your life.
Live your life without a boyfriend and learn to be happy along the way. You don’t have to be with someone to have peace and to have worth in your life.
Being with a man doesn’t define who you are. You have to understand that you are in charge of your own life and that you have the power to be the best you can be. You are the one in charge of him falling in love with you.
Be You
Be yourself and do not change for your man or for anyone else. Always be true to yourself and never change your values to fit into his life.
Stop pretending to be someone that you aren’t. You will soon get to the point where you hate your relationship if you find that you have to change you.
Show him who you are and do not try to be someone else.
Let Him Charm You
Let your man be your hero. This doesn’t mean that you have to be submissive to him, but you should let him do things to help you.
A man will want to do things to rescue you and once he does, he will be stuck to you. You have to know when to show strength and when to act weak.
Hero Instinct
Guys have a hero instinct, and they want to be everyone’s hero. This is part of their ego and they are not in control of it.
If he is with you, he wants to take care of you and fight for you. You have to make him feel that you want him. Ask him to do small things for you.
When he does things for you, admire him, and talk about how amazing he is. When he feels that he is good for you and that he helps you, he will want to be with you.
Conclusion
If you are trying to make a man commit to you without pressuring him, you have to learn to not pressure him.
Make sure that you put in the effort of the relationship and be slow. If a guy is not ready to be serious with you, he will not be. Do not try to force him to put all of his cards on the table.
Learn to be patient and always be the best that you can be, no matter what.
